


Please, Stay

by OhVena



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series
Genre: 3rd semester spoilers, Age Difference, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hyperventilating episode, MC has childhood truma, MC is twenty-one, Maruki Takuto - Freeform, Maruki is twenty-eight, Mentions of Rape, Original Character(s), P5R Spoilers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25653454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhVena/pseuds/OhVena
Summary: They say eyes are the window to the soul. What does the forlorn look in his eyes tell? What does the hope in her's say?
Relationships: Maruki Takuto/Original Female Character(s), Maruki Takuto/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	1. First Encounter

It was the beginnings of spring in Shibuya. The streets were busy with pedestrians; students hanging out with friends, business men and women quickly making their way back home, and tourists trying to navigate the streets. The sound of cars could be heard over the roar of the crowd. Enya quietly observed the masses of people, before joining the trickle that was moving further into the smaller city within Tokyo. Her eyes quickly scanned the famous square crossing in search of a cab. While she wanted to explore the small city a bit more, she was extremely tired -jet lag was a bitch- and would rather pass out cold onto the bed in her airbnb. A place she’d be calling home indefinitely.

She finally spotted one stuck in traffic, gripped onto her suitcase, and made her way towards it after making sure the backseats were unoccupied. She flagged him down to alert him she was coming in before opening the backdoor and hopping in. The man glanced at her through the rearview mirror and offered her a smile. He had dark brown eyes -or could they be onyx?- and tussled hair with loose wavy strands peeking out from his white cab hat. His hair seemed to match his eyes but she had a feeling it also changed depending on the lighting. When he turned around to greet her she noticed the stubble on his chin and the black framed glasses he donned on the bridge of his nose. He was attractive in a rugged way.

“ _Hello! Where are you headed?_ ” He asked her in perfect English. His voice was soothing as was the aura he gave off. He seemed very mellow and it only served to feed her sleepyness. 

She mustered up a smile, thankful that she got such a considerate cab driver this time. The last cab driver she got from Hanaeda airport would keep giving her dirty looks through the rearview mirror and she decided to get out at Shibuya for her own safety and comfort.

“Could you please take me to Yongen-Jaya?” She asked in fluent Japanese.

His eyes widened a bit in shock before he smiled again. “Sure thing!” He happily replied before turning forward. Maruki looked at her through the rearview mirror as she looked out the window. Her skin was brown, eyes a hazel, while her straight hair cascaded down her back. She was beautiful but there a certain tiredness she carried with her. It wasn’t the kind from jet lag, it was the kind of tiredness you developed after losing someone or something. He recognized it all too well. She didn’t try to hide it like most people did though. In fact, she exuded it. Perhaps as a means to drive people away; a self defense mechanism. Nothings gets in, nothing gets out. Despite his change in career, Maruki couldn’t stop noticing people’s behaviors; an occupational hazard. 

Looking out her window, Enya noted that traffic was bad today, they’d been in the same spot for the past five minutes. She glanced over at her cab driver and realized he was already looking at her in deep thought. He blushed for being caught and gave her a sheepish smile. _Cute_ , she couldn’t help but think. 

“Sorry, I never introduced myself. My name is Maruki Takuto.”

“Wright Enya. But please call me Enya.”

“Enya,” he tried her name carefully on his tongue and she couldn’t help the smile that formed on her own lips. “So where are you coming from, Enya?”

“The United States. I’m not sure if you know it, but I’m from the city of Chicago.”

“Ah, that’s the city that has the bean sculpture, correct?”

She let out a giggle before nodding, “Yup, that’s the one.”

“My apologies, I don’t know much about the city other than that. What brings you to Tokyo?” He asked curiously. She was a city girl so she wouldn’t have much trouble navigating the busy streets of Tokyo and its different wards. That offered him some relief. There were parts of Tokyo that were dangerous for young women when traveling alone. 

She shrugged nonchalantly, eyes looking outside once more. They had moved about a foot forward. “Just trying to start fresh.”

He nodded in understanding, “I get that. I recently made a career change myself. I used to be a counselor and cognitive researcher.”

That caught her attention, Enya’s eyes shot towards him in scrutiny. Well, he definitely did give off the vibe that he’d spent countless sleepless nights working. She would have taken this with a grain of salt as she’s had her fair share of people try to diagnose her with that excuse, if it weren’t for his honest and friendly aura. Then again, cult leader also exuded that type of aura. She was good at reading people's auras though, it was one of the many ways she managed to stay out of danger. So she trusted her gut when it told her this man was the real deal.

“So why the change in career?” She asked. She’d be lying to say she wasn’t curious. Why such a drastic change? Did he get his license revoked?

“My research never broke through” he answered simply. Or rather, his research was rejected by the very people he was trying to save, and for all the right reasons.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” She replied solemnly. That must suck. Imagine poring years into something only for it to prove fruitless. She couldn’t imagine the hopelessness he must have felt.

“It was for the best.” He reassured her with a kind smile. And he meant it. He no longer felt as though he needed to save everyone. He couldn’t, if the very people he was trying to save didn’t want him to. Kurusu showed him that the person he needed to take care of first and foremost was himself. How could he help others if he couldn’t even help himself?

There was a lull in the conversation as cars beeped outside. 

“Do you still take patients, Doctor Maruki?”

Surprised colored his features as he turned to look at her when there was another pause in traffic. “Pardon?” 

A sigh left her lips, “I’d like if you could offer me counseling. I’ve...never had any sessions.”

Maruki knawed at his lip, he didn’t want to reject her request but he wasn’t ready to return to counseling just yet, “W-well, I’m currently not taking any patients. I’m sorry.” 

Enya nodded in understanding and offered him a closed-eye, reassuring smile, “Please don’t worry about it. Then how about we make a deal instead. You show me around Japan and I’ll become your number one loyal customer."

What an odd request, wouldn’t it be cheaper if she took the train? Perhaps that wasn’t her real request. Maybe she just wanted a friend. The city could make anyone feel lonely. It moves forward, with or without you. People are too caught up in their own lives to notice those in peril. Maruki himself could use a friend so he agreed. Maybe he also saw a bit of himself in her.

“Deal” he agreed with a smile of his own. As if on cue, traffic seemed to let up and the cars in front started moving forward. Perhaps their meeting was fated.

On the way to her destination, Enya and Maruki talked about all sorts of trivial things; favorite color, favorite food, shows they recommended, what they had for dinner last night, etc. Before they knew it, they had arrived at the town. They exchanged numbers before Enya got out of the cab. 

“See you later, Doc,” Enya said pleasantly, suitcase in-hand as she stood outside the passenger window. 

“Take care Enya, and welcome to Tokyo,” he replied with a smile before driving off. 

~~~

Once she had settled into her home after a shower, she laid down in bed and knocked out cold. Enya would be lying if she said she didn’t fall asleep after staring at his contact image though. Things had started to look up and she eagerly awaited what the next day would bring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first chapter fic and I’m a bit nervous about it so kudos and comments are definitely appreciated. I’m currently in the process of writing chapter two so looks forward to it as this fic will pick up after this. I’m in love with Maruki and I was so shocked to see there was barely anything written for him, so here I am lol. Chapter two will be posted soon!


	2. To Shibuya!

Enya woke up around six in the morning the next day. She couldn’t believe she had slept a whopping twelve hours. Jet lag really was a bitch. Grogginess filled her consciousness and she groaned as she forced her heavy limbs to move. Her throat felt extremely dry so she made her way to the kitchen for a drink of water. Peering out her kitchen window, a sigh left her lips.Yongen-Jaya was a quaint little town with a rustic feel to it. It brought on a different kind of comfort compared to what she felt from being in the city. Today, she’d have to explore the backstreets in order to get fully settled in and there was also the matter of buying groceries. If she remembered correctly, there was a grocery store nearby. That would have been her first stop if it weren’t for the loud protest her stomach gave off. Breakfast first, then. 

~~~

While walking around in search of a place to eat breakfast in, Enya stumbled across a little hole-in-the-wall cafe called Leblanc. It seemed it was open to the public already. She wasn’t the kind to look a gifts horse in the mouth, so she headed in. A strong scent of coffee beans hit her as well as various other spices. Was that curry she smelled? She would have drooled if it weren’t for the owner coming out from the kitchen. He seemed to be in his forties, donning a stylish, pink dress shirt that had a few buttons popped open and was covered by his apron. Cuffed beige slacks and some white dress shoes covered his lower half. His hair and beard were well kempt and there were some fashionable glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. She could tell he had been a hit with the ladies when he was younger.

“Good morning. Why don’t you have a seat?” He called out to her before heading back in to finish cooking the mouthwatering curry. She definitely would have to order some of that. She quickly made her way to the booth closest to the staircase. The cafe was cozy and tranquil. The TV in the background played the morning news while the coffee maker dripped coffee. She could see herself visiting every morning if it was this serene. It seemed almost as if time itself stopped for anyone who got lucky to step foot inside. 

“What will you have?” He asked once he stepped out again.

“That delicious curry that’s been teasing my senses ever since I walked in.” Enya replied with a laugh.

A smirk appeared on his face, “Will you have coffee with that?”

She shook her head sadly, “Coffee gives me a stomach ache, could I have orange juice instead?”

He raised his eyebrows in surprise before shrugging, “Pity, but I’ll bring that right out for you. So, are you new to the neighborhood? I haven’t seen you around.”

“Yeah, I just started renting nearby. I saw a clinic on my way here as well as a grocery store, not to mention it’s very close to the train station and Shibuya.”

Boss hummed in response as he brought out her order. “It’s certainly a good location. Here’s your order.”

“Thank you for the meal!” She happily replied before digging into the appetizing curry. Her eyes widened as the savory flavor spread onto her taste buds. Was that chocolate she tasted? The chicken was perfectly tender as well. There was a harmonious balance between the spices and she could tell some serious love and science went into the making of this dish. 

Enya looked up at him awe and Boss smiled at seeing her enjoy his food so much; a chuckle left his lips. 

“Mister, this is the best curry I’ve ever tasted. I’m never looking back after today.”

“Glad you liked it. You can call me boss then, if I’ll be seeing you often.”

What a cheeky man but he had every right to be so with this curry. While eagerly eating her food, Enya eyed her phone. Should she text Maruki? What would she even say? She didn’t even ask him for his schedule. Would he be available? He was a cab driver, not her personal chauffeur after all. A frown overtook her features as she licked away the sauce on her lips. Well, it wasn’t as if she was fully mentally present yesterday. Should she just take a stab in the dark and see what he’s up to? Would he even respond?

Her worrying was interrupted by the door chiming. She looked up to find the very man she had been fretting over. He was dressed in a blue, open-collared shirt with a blue checkered tie half haphazardly tied around his neck. Beige slacks held up by a belt covered his lower half, and were those sandals? Oddly enough, he made the outfit work.

“Doctor Maruki!” She exclaimed in part shock and part excitement. She wasn’t particularly superstitious, but two meetings within the time span of two days was something. Could fate really have brought them together? It was a thought but she was probably just being silly so she pushed it away. 

“Oh! Enya, what a pleasant surprise! I was actually just thinking about texting you!” Maruki replied with an easygoing smile.

She couldn’t help the blush that spread onto her cheeks. She wasn’t particularly popular back home so the fact that he was thinking of contacting her filled her with a warm sentiment.

“You two know each other?” Boss asked as he watched the interaction between the two. 

“Yes, we actually met yesterday. What a small world, huh.” Maruki addressed Boss before turning his attention back to Enya. “Can I sit with you?”

“Go ahead,” Enya replied coolly, trying to reign in her excitement but she was sure that didn’t wipe the stupid look on her face. “Are you here for Boss’ delicious curry too?”

He sat down across from her, “Yeah, I try to come here on my days off. Sorry, I didn’t even tell you my schedule yesterday. My mind tends to wonder so it didn’t even cross it.”

“It’s okay, I should have asked as well,” she laughed. 

“Can I have the usual, Boss?” 

“Coming right up.”

“I see you’ve already started eating so don’t let me interrupt.”

She smiled, “I can have a conversation while eating Doc.”

He hummed as he noticed her cup of juice, “Is that orange juice?”

“Huh?”, She asked after swallowing. “Yeah. Do you not like orange juice?”

He tilted his head in thought, “Well, I don’t particularly dislike it but if I had to choose, it’d be apple juice.”

“So that’s your poison, Doc? Oddly enough, I can see that.” She giggled out. It really wasn’t fair how cute he acted. Boss dropped off Maruki’s order before going to read the newspaper. A comfortable silence fell between the two as they ate. The scrapping of utensils on plates adding on to the other quiet background noises.

“I was thinking I could show you around Shibuya today. We’d be taking the train though. I can help you take out a train pass when we’re there. Are you free?” 

“You’re not trying to get rid of me already, are you Doctor Maruki?” She teased with a grin. 

“No, but I was thinking we could meet up without having the pretense of using my cab. I would still really appreciate it if you would call me whenever you need a ride to somewhere the train isn’t able to take you though!” He replied with a shy smile, scratching his cheek.

A blush overtook her face as a pout formed on her lips. Not only was he being cute but there were two good things and one bad thing about what he said. 

Good: He wanted to keep meeting. 

Bad: He realized that she just wanted an excuse to see him again. That was more embarrassing than bad though. 

Good: He was being considerate. A cab would surely start adding up quickly and once again, he was a cab driver not a personal chauffeur. 

She really should have thought things through yesterday but luckily the man in front of her was kind and understanding. She wondered if people took advantage of that. Kindness only took you so far if you didn’t have your wits about you. People were greedy after all. Enya certainly knew that. 

“I’d like that,” she finally replied.

“Great! Let’s head over to the station once we’re done eating.”

~~~

The train station was just as lively as the busy streets of Shibuya. People walked with purpose. The station was full with all kinds of noises; Teens could be heard laughing with their group of friends, the beeping of passes as they were scanned, the announcer calling out stops and times and the shuffling of the leaving and incoming trains. It was a familiar sight for Enya and she took comfort in that. Maruki helped her as he promised and she soon had her very own train pass. She noted she would need to get a card holder for it and wondered if Maruki would help her pick one.

She stayed close to Maruki as they got onto the arriving train. The crowd behind them quickly shoved them to the nearest window. Maruki made sure that he was behind Enya to shield her from any wandering hands.The sentiment wasn’t lost on her. In the process of doing so though, she was pushed almost up against his chest. They made brief eye contact before looking away, a flush coloring both their cheeks. 

“I’m sorry, the trains are always so packed in the morning”

“N-no, thank you. It can’t be helped.”

The train departed the station and Enya eagerly looked out the window. Maruki found himself watching her. Her eyes drinked in every sight. It was refreshing to see someone so vivacious against the stark monotone passengers who saw this as routine. 

~~~

Stepping once again onto the busy streets of Shibuya, Enya couldn’t help but awe at the sights around her. Anyone watching her could tell she was a tourist but she didn’t care. From her position she could see a bookstore, a video rental, a crepe shop, a cafe, a beef bowl shop -which she had to visit later-, and a restaurant called Big Bang Burger. There were more shops further down and she could see a movie theatre at the very end of the street. 

“Is there any particular place you’d like to visit?” Maruki asked with a smile.

“Hmm, well I need to buy some groceries. Is there a convenience store nearby?”

“There is! I used to frequent it quite often when I was a counselor.”

“Then please lead the way!”

Inside the convenience store, Enya looked around again in wonder. Convenience stores in Japan were so much more advanced than the ones back in the states. They had a whole ramen cooking station, lunch packs like sushi and curry, as well as an array of hot foods. She even spotted some hot pork buns by the register. “Wow, there’s so much to pick from.”

Maruki laughed at her childlike wonder, it was endearing. “Really? Is this not commonplace in the states?”

“Well, we don’t have such an array of lunches and hot foods, and we definitely don’t have a ramen cooking station!” She chirped back while looking at the snacks. 

“Since I’m already here, I guess I should stock up on some things too.” He replied while grabbing a pack of apple juice boxes. He didn’t miss the giggle she let out when she noticed. 

After grabbing what they needed they headed for checkout. Enya had brought with her reusable bags and it made Maruki a bit self conscious for having to use a plastic bag. She took notice of this and let him borrow one of hers; it had emperor penguins all over it.

“Jeez, we really spent a little over an hour in there.” Enya replied while glancing at her watch. 

“Well, we did spend a good thirty minutes discussing the best snacks to eat.” 

“Yes, a very much needed discussion. I now know how much of a foodie you are Doctor Maruki.” They shared a laugh. 

“Is there another place you’d like to visit?”

“I did want to buy a card holder for my train pass. Do you know where I could get one?”

He hummed in thought before nodding. “The underground mall might have some. The entrance is nearby.”

The underground mall was pretty small in size but they did have a variety of stores. It reminded her of the flea markets she frequented back home. They stopped at a store that had clothes amongst other things. Enya browsed the purse section in search of the card holders.

“Enya! They’re right over here!” Maruki called over to her from the back of the store. They had a nice selection to choose from, ranging from cute to more mature styles. Maruki looked over the plushie charm that was hanging from her purse. It seemed to be a cookie of some sorts? The little guy was sporting a very mischievous look. He looked back at the selection in search of him but they didn’t seem to have him. Maybe he could surprise her with one later? She seemed to like cute things so maybe she’d like the Cinnamoroll one? Their hands reached out to grab the same card holder, brushing against each other in the process.

“Oh!” Enya replied in surprise, a soft blush tinting her cheeks. Was he going to pick out the same one for her? 

“Ah! It seems I made a good choice.” He said with a shy smile, his owns cheeks red.

“Well, we do share the same favorite color. And Cinnamoroll is very cute” she said with a stupid smile. He was a counselor and researches, his job required him to notice things about people. But that didn’t stop her from feeling giddy. Even if that was the case, he noticed what she liked and made his decision based on that. She headed to checkout with a bounce to her step. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon browsing through stores. They visited the florist shop and Enya ended up buying some plants for her home. Maruki noted she looked very happy with her purchase. He was sure he heard her talking to them at some point. Maruki bought a pair of sandals, similar to the ones he had on, saying his were wearing out. They made their way back to the train station when it was starting to near evening. 

“Thank you for today, Doctor Maruki. I had a lot of fun!” She said with a bashful smile. And she meant it, she couldn’t remember the last time she had hung out with someone and enjoyed it.

“I’m glad, so did I.” He replied with a closed-eyed smile. Maruki felt the same way as her. The last time he had an outing for fun was with Kurusu and if he was being honest, that was mainly to thank him for his help with his research. So it really had been a while. “Would it be alright if I text you later? I’ll send you my days off so we can plan our next outing.” 

“Yeah, I look forward to it! See you later, Doc!” She beamed and started to wave goodbye as she walked to her train.

“Oh! What about your shopping bag?,” he called out to her.

“Keep it! I’ve got tons!” She called back before entering the train.

“Take care!” He managed to get out before the doors closed. He looked down at the bag and smiled, eager to see her again.

~~~

Maruki did text her as he promised and they scheduled their next meeting at Kichijoji; they wanted to visit the second hand store located there. Enya grinned down at her phone. _Aren’t things going too well?,_ she wondered. She shook her head, trying to dispel the negative thoughts but she couldn’t shake the little seed of worry that had sprouted. All she could do was take things day-by-day and be cautious, she’d deal with whatever came up, just as she always had. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2.6K...This is the most I’ve ever written for a chapter. I’ve decided I’ll be updating every Saturday (Unless I finish a chapter early but the set date is Saturday!) so please look forward to the next chapter.


	3. Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: This chapter does have a scene of sexual assault. There is nothing graphic but if that is triggering please skip it. The scene is italicized and bolded. Also be adviced that this chapter is very heavy with talks of suicidal thoughts and depression. I’ve tagged the fic appropriately. 
> 
> http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

Enya had been getting situated nicely in Yongen-Jaya. She had visited the grocery store and clinic to become better acquainted in the days leading up to her outing with Maruki. She had also started to work from home, translating documents for multiple companies. One afternoon, she decided she was craving Boss’ curry so she grabbed her purse and headed over. The door chime greeted her ears as she walked in. As she was scanning the empty cafe, a painting by the entrance caught her eye. 

“Hey, Boss, can I have a plate of curry and orange juice?” She asked him once he came out from the kitchen. 

“Coming right up.” 

She returned to admiring the painting. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Huh?!” She exclaimed, almost jumping out of her skin when she heard the voice of a male right next to her. She turned to see the blue-haired teen admiring the painting as well. “Oh, yes it is. I can feel the adoration the mother has for her child. She knows life may become hard but she trusts her child can get through it, even if she isn’t there to hold his hand. I can sense her hope for his future to be a happy one. That’s just my interpretation though.” Enya finished with a smile before her eyes widened at the sight of a tear gliding down his cheek. “Are… you crying?!”

“Ah, it’s just your interpretation...thank you.” He replied quietly before wiping the tear away. 

“I didn’t really-“

“You must be well versed in the arts! I am an artist myself and I would like it if you would converse with me over coffee! I won’t take no for an answer.” He said with determination before hurrying her to the nearest booth. Enya could feel the whiplash from his sudden change in emotions. She looked to Boss for help but he merely shrugged in exasperation. 

Enya learned that the boy’s name was Yusuke Kitagawa and he attended Kosei High on an art scholarship. He was very passionate about the fine arts, painting specifically. His goal was to create a painting on par with the Sayuri, which she found out was the name of the painting they had been admiring. He also spoke very highly of his friends as they had helped him through his art block and he missed them, a lot. It really pulled at Enya’s heartstrings -she was a sucker for kids- so she ended up footing the bill and even bought him lunch. He had tried to tell her it wasn’t necessary -since apparently he actually had money for once- but she wouldn’t take any answer other than a thank you. 

“You are a goddess! I should have known the moment I laid eyes on you! You’re practically glowing Enya-san! How can I ever repay you?! Would you like it if I used you as a muse?”

Enya was pretty sure she was beet red. That was not the kind of thanks she was expecting. She’d never received such an extravagant compliment and it didn’t help that he meant every word. 

“That won’t be necessary, Kitagawa-kun. I’d just like to see your finished painting! I’ll be rooting for you!” She said with a cheerful smile, fist formed in encouragement. She almost died at the onslaught of compliments and thanks that followed after. _He sure is an eccentric and animated kiddo,_ Enya thought. Kitagawa asked for her number before they both went their separate ways.

~~~

The day Maruki and Enya had decided to meet up had finally come. Maruki was waiting for her at the train station as he said he would. This time he was wearing a white cable knit sweater over a dark blue dress shirt. Dark jeans and tan dress shoes covered his lower half. She was glad she had dressed up a bit more this time. They greeted each other with smiles before heading into the train to Kichijoji, discussing their week on the way.

“So you met Kitagawa-kun?” He asked in surprise. He hadn’t seen him since the day Kurusu had left. Maruki wondered how he was doing.

“Yeah, he’s a great kiddo! Do you two know each other?”

“Ah, yes. He was friends with some of the kids I used to counsel. I haven’t seen him in a while.” 

She watched as his eyes got a faraway look. Was he thinking of times gone by? “Well maybe we could treat him to dinner one day. God knows the kid can eat.” She laughed.

Surprised colored his features once more before he smiled, “If he’d be up for it, I’d like that.”

~~~

The streets of Kichijoji were packed on Saturday morning. The scent of food cooked in oil hit Enya’s nose and her mouth watered a bit. She had had a light breakfast for a reason though, so she could hold off until they were done browsing the thrift store. 

“Stay close to me, I don’t want you to get lost.” Maruki advised as they made their way to the store. Enya hummed in affirmation, sticking close to him as they maneuvered through the crowd. 

The inside of the store was surprisingly devoid of customers, with only a handful here and there. There were some questionable clothing items being sold but would it really be a thrift store if there weren't? Enya did notice that some of the clothes looked rather dirty though. She’d have to stay clear of those. “So Doctor Maruki, is there any type of clothing you’re looking for?” She asked while sifting through some shirts.

“Well, I’m not particularly well-versed in fashion. I just thought I’d get anything I needed.” He replied sheepishly.

Enya took a step back to eye his outfit. Maruki couldn’t help but feel self-conscious from her scrutinizing look. “Well, you can certainly put a good outfit together. I’d say your style is very professor-esque. I like it!” 

He beamed a bit at that. He didn’t get complimented on his fashion so it was nice to hear someone appreciated his efforts. “Thank you! I would say you’re the fashionable one here though. Your outfit today is lovely.” He said while looking at her flowy, dark blue dress over a white ruffled long sleeve shirt that was paired up with some black combat boots. 

Enya looked away bashfully. “I usually wear jeans and a t-shirt but I like to try once in a while. You know what we should do though? While we’re looking for clothes we should try to pick out an item we think the other would like!”

“An interesting proposal, let’s do it.” Maruki replied, up for the challenge. 

They spent the rest of the morning browsing through the clothes. They’d show each other the strange items they’d find and laugh about it. Enya had tried to see what Maruki had picked out for her but he deflected her attempts each time. _He’s good_ , she’d think with a pout. Once they we’re done, they paid for their items and left. They had decided they’d give each other the item over lunch. The crowd outside was as rambunctious as when they had entered. Enya tried to stay close to Maruki as they navigated through the sea of people. 

“Wasn’t the owner kinda odd? He kept going on about how the dirtier the clothes you sold to him were, the more money you’d get in return.” She yelled over the crowd, turning to look at who she thought was Maruki but realizing the man she was following wasn’t him. 

_“Shit,_ ” she muttered, standing on her tippy toes to try and spot him in the crowd. She really hated being short sometimes. 

“Hey, hey! What do we have here?! A foreigner? Are you a tourist, babe? Why don’t you let a couple of Tokyo natives show you around!” A male with sunglasses asked, giving what he thought was a friendly smile but all it came off as was a predacious smirk. He and his buddies looked like a pack of wolves and Enya wasn’t going to stick around to be the lamb in their dinner.

“No thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” She replied firmly, trying to walk around them.

“Cmon, don’t be such a vibe killer. Let us show you a good time,” his other friend said as he snaked an arm around her waist. The world seemed to slow down in that moment as Enya felt his hand on her. 

**_He’s pushing her down onto the bed, his legs straddling her waist._ **

**_She begs for him to stop but he ignores her._ **

**_He tells her to be quiet._ **

**_His hands slither up her waist towards her chest._ **

**_She closes her eyes, trying to shut him out._ **

**_It was going to be another night like this._ **

She couldn’t breathe as she pushed him away. “Stop it! Please get off me! Please!” She screamed before her tongue felt like lead. Everyone’s faces blurred and all she could see was the man who had tormented her. Why was he here again? Why couldn’t he leave her alone after taking so much from her? Her innocence, her ability to develop healthy relationships, her will to live. She tried to run away and scream for help but her feet were rooted to the ground and she couldn’t speak. Why was nobody helping her? 

“What the fuck is wrong with her? Shit, let’s go.” One of the males muttered before they scrambled as a crowd of onlookers had stopped to watch. 

Maruki pushed through the crowd in alarm as he heard the commotion. The screaming had sounded like Enya. He finally managed to get through to see her in the middle. Her chest was heaving and her hands were having spasms. He quickly kneeled down to look into her panicked eyes and spoke to her in a soothing voice. “Enya, it’s okay. They’re gone now, they can’t hurt you anymore. I’m here, you’re safe. You’re having an episode of hyperventilation. We’ll get through this together, okay?”

She nodded robotically, tears dripping down her cheeks. The man's smirking face slowly dissipated to reveal Maruki’s face, worry written all over it. Had he come to help? “Okay, I need you to breathe with me. Purse your lips and take a deep breath in. Deep breathe out. Good. One more time. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.”

She started to calm down at his reassurance, her breathing becoming steady once more. The world came into focus and she could feel the judgemental glares of the onlookers. Their murmurs buzzed around her ears like angry wasps and she wished the ground would swallow her whole. She had made a scene and now everyone knew how broken she was under her facade; like the various pieces inside a kaleidoscope, except there wasn’t anything beautiful once you looked inside. Despite having feeling back in her limbs once more, all she felt was numbness creeping in. 

“Good. Are you able to walk with me?” He asked her softly, hands hovering in the air. He didn’t think it was a good idea to touch her as that could trigger another episode. 

Her head bobbed once again and he offered her a reassuring smile. “Let’s go to a nearby cafe.” The crowd parted to let them through and Enya lifelessly stared at the floor as she followed Maruki. 

Inside the cafe, people ate and talked, unaware of what just transpired. Dishes clinked against each other as waiters and waitresses took and delivered orders. Maruki watched Enya as she stared down at her cup of water. Whoever had harassed her must have triggered a traumatizing event. There was unadulterated fear written all over her. He’d never forget that gaze. “You don’t have to talk about it, but I’ll listen if you do. Just take your time.” He spoke to her gently. 

His words shattered the wall her consciousness had started to build in order to protect her. Enya bit her lip to stop the tears from falling but they still did, she gripped her dress in frustration. Her bangs covered one of her eyes but Maruki could still see the tears dropping onto her dress. “I was so… scared. It’s pathetic. I hate it. I hate how weak I am. I didn’t fight every damn day to get out of that hellhole I was trapped in just to cry again. I said I wouldn’t cry about what he did to me anymore. I won’t let him have anything more from me. Not my tears or my sadness or even my anger. I decided to take my life back, I won’t let him control me anymore.” 

Maruki’s heart ached. She was in so much pain. It’s as if she had a huge gaping wound that she had tried to heal by herself but despite her best efforts, it wouldn’t because she didn’t have the proper medication. What that man had done to her haunted her and it affected her everyday life. “Enya, you’re not weak. You’re extremely strong and capable. There’s a fire in your eyes every time I look into them and those are the eyes of someone who hasn’t given up. You’re just exhausted and that understandable. Who wouldn’t be after keeping all those emotions locked up? It’s okay to cry. Crying doesn’t equal weakness” he replied, his eyebrows scrunched up in concern. 

“I couldn’t even stand up to those men without making a fool of myself,” she said after finally looking up, her voice cracking.

“They triggered a memory from the traumatic event you went through. Your flight-or-fight was activated and on top of that you were hyperventilating. Your reaction was a normal one Enya. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

She stayed silent as she surveyed his honest face, taking in his words. His words rang true. She had internalized that expressing any form of vulnerability was weakness so she numbed herself off to these feelings but you can’t selectively numb feelings off so in the process she numbed everything, joy, gratitude, anger. It wasn’t correct to say that she didn’t feel these emotions, because she did, but more so that she couldn’t experience them to their full potential. She pretended to be the person others expected her to be in fear of showing her imperfect self, terrified that they’d reject her. She didn’t think that side of her was worthy of love; shame and guilt weighing her down like shackles. She was a prisoner of her own mind. Maruki understood the fear of vulnerability because despite everything he still struggled with those same feelings. Vulnerability. The feeling that Kurusu had tried to teach him. It was the door that opened to many others and allowed him to be surrounded by such great friends. It was the reason he was able to heal and reclaim his future. But how could Maruki teach her vulnerability when he himself hadn’t fully grasped such a concept?

“You wanted counseling, right? That’s one of the first steps to healing. Acknowledging there’s a problem and seeking help takes courage. So, yes, you’re very strong. Stronger than I was when I lost someone. You’re not running away, you’re facing it head-on and you’re telling it “I won’t let you control my life anymore!” That’s not something a person who’s given up does.”

“Doctor Maruki” she whispered, her eyebrows upturned in apprehension. Had he run away when he lost a loved one? There was the briefest hint of grief in his eyes when he mentioned it.

He leaned forward in determination, “Let me help you. I know a good therapist I can refer you to. You don’t have to suffer in silence anymore. It’s okay to lean on others. I’m here for you too.”

“Thank you.” This time, Enya was crying for a different reason. How did she manage to get such a considerate and kind man in her life. Had she finally cashed in all her good luck? Would there be repercussions to that? “Admitting that you ran away and trying to face reality is courageous too. So I’d say you’re pretty strong yourself, Doctor Maruki.”

He looked at her tear-stricken face in wonder and chuckled. She really used his own words against him. “I guess so.” Here she was struggling with her own troubles but still worrying about him. Enya continued to surprise him with her compassion for others but he thought she should look out for her wellbeing more. It seemed her and Maruki shared that trait. “Oh! I forgot to give you this.” He said as he took out the necklace he had bought at the thrift store. It was a blue monarch butterfly. “I hope that one day like a butterfly, you’re able to break from the shackles you’re in and live freely as you wish.”

Enya’s lip trembled and she could feel the tears coming once again so she gave him the brightest closed-eyed smile she could muster. “Thank you, Doctor Maruki.” Enya hoped she could too, for she was the only one who could bring about that change. 

Maruki’s expression softened, “Call me Takuto. We’re friends now, aren’t we? It wouldn’t be fair that I’m the only one calling you by your first name.”

She blinked a few times at the admission before beaming at the new sign of their friendship, “I guess not.” She admired the delicate necklace before clasping it around her neck with nimble fingers. “Let me give you your item as well.” She handed him a leather messenger bag. “I know that you’re not currently counseling or researching but I thought that one day, when you’re ready, you can safely keep all your documents in it.” 

Maruki stared at the bag in his hand with wide eyes, gratitude welling up within him. “Enya,” he exhaled, “thank you.” He was touched that she had thought so far ahead. He hoped that one day he would be able to go back and do what he loved. He really did enjoy helping people and he aspired to find another way to help others deal with their pain. A way where he didn’t need to overwrite their experiences. But before that, he needed healing himself. 

~~~

The two had decided to eat lunch before heading back home. Maruki traveled to Yongen-Jaya with Enya and walked her all the way to her home to make sure she got there safely; she didn’t complain about his decision. 

“Thank you for today, Takuto. I’m not sure what would have happened if you hadn’t been there for me.” Enya confessed.

“Please don’t hesitate to lean on me for support Enya. We’re friends.” He assured her.

"The same goes for you. I can sense a loneliness within you. Please talk to me whenever you need it. I may not be a counselor but I’ve been told I’m a pretty good listener.” She whispered gently.

Maruki stunned at her profession. He should have known though that someone who was well acquainted with such an emotion would be able to easily spot it. “Thank you Enya, I’ll try to.”

“Have a good evening, Takuto.”

“You as well, Enya.” 

He watched her go inside her home safely before walking back to the train station. He’d have a lot to think about tonight. 


	4. Mr. Blue Sky

_ It was pitch dark. Maruki could barely see two feet in front of him. Despite that, he kept walking. Something compelled him to. His pace started to pick up as he heard sobbing in the distance. It sounded familiar. The nearer he got to the sound, the more panic started to settle in. After what seemed like hours of running, he could finally see her. Enya was standing in the middle of the endless room. A spotlight shined down on her, illuminating the tears falling down her cheeks. _

_ “Enya? What’s wrong?” He worriedly asked, laying a comforting hand on her shoulder once she was within arms reach. _

_ “Get away from me! What are you?!” She screamed, the haphazardly way she slapped his hand away caused her to fall onto her bottom. Her eyes were ridden with unadulterated terror.  _

_ Maruki’s heart plummeted. Was she afraid of him? And what did she mean what was he? Did she not remember him? He chuckled uneasily, “It’s me, your friend Takuto. Don’t you remember?”  _

_ “You’re not Takuto, you’re a monster!”  _

_ He staggered back at the force of her words. He looked down to see Azathot’s tentacles crawling out from him, reaching out toward Enya. She blanched, trying to scramble back but proving unsuccessful as one of the tentacles managed to slither around her ankle. She yelped in alarm before begging him to let her go. Maruki felt bile rise up in his throat, this wasn’t right. He wasn’t supposed to be looking down on anyone. He wasn’t, isn't the savior he once thought he was. _

_ “Maruki, I know you can sense the despair within her. Let us show her our dream for mankind.” _

_ “No, Azathot! We don’t know what she wants! We’re done pushing our desires onto others!” Maruki replied vehemently.  _

_ “Do you believe she will get far in life like this? Look at her!”  _

_ She was trembling, her plea’s falling on deaf ears. For what could she be seeking mercy for? He didn’t know, but he was sure of one thing, he didn’t want her to forget him. “Stop it! If we change her cognition, she’ll forget us!” He lamented.  _

_ Azathoth smirked, letting out a fiendish cackle. “So you can no longer bear someone else forgetting you, even for the reality you so desire. Selfish fool. No matter, I do not need your permission! If her companionship is what you seek then we can make that happen. I've looked inside her dreams and she yearns for the kind of comfort you can offer. All she will forget is her pain and you can create a new future with her. We can do anything for we are God itself!”  _

_ Enya tried to crawl away again but Azathot dragged her back to stand before Maruki’s feet. “No, please! I can’t lose control of anything more. Please stop looking inside my-” She didn’t get to finish her sentence as her expression went completely blank before she looked at Maruki with fraudulent happiness. “I’m sorry, Takuto. I was being so ungrateful earlier! This is for the best. Why don’t you show me the painless future you envisioned for us. I know only you can make me happy.” _

_ He felt sick. No. No. This was wrong. He had violated a space that should be untouchable to others, a place one should feel safe to contain their innermost secrets and desires. He broke her trust for his own selfish needs. He was just like every other man who had used her. She wasn’t a doll he could play house with. As if on cue, she stood unnaturally, almost as if her limbs were being pulled by strings. Maruki slowly looked down in horror to see the strings led back to him. He was the puppeteer. His hands trembled as his vision faded in-and-out, he could hear his heartbeat pound in his ears. No. This wasn’t what he wanted. _

_ “Azathoth!”  _

Maruki woke up in a cold sweat, the scream dying in his throat. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. It was just a nightmare. Squinting his eyes against the harsh light of the clock on his nightstand, he tried to read the time. 3:17 stared back at him in red. A weary sigh left his lips as he ran his hand down his face. He reached out to grab his phone and clicked on Enya’s contact. The last time they had spoken was the day they had gone to Kichijoji and she had acknowledged his loneliness. These past few weeks had her words never rang more true. On late nights such as these, loneliness enveloped him in it’s icy embrace. Whispers of melancholy filling his head. He didn’t want to bother Enya, she had her own issues to deal with, but he had to see her. He knew he was being needy, selfish even, calling her this late but he seeked the warmth she seemed to hold despite her adversities. It was alarming how much Enya had wormed herself into his life in the span of a month. Before he knew it, he pressed the call button. The phone rang, once, twice, he thought about hanging up as doubt took over but she picked up on the third ring.

“Takuto?” Enya called out, concern evident in her clear voice. It seemed she had been up as well. 

Maruki exhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. “Enya..,” he sat up in his bed, suddenly feeling unnerved, “Could we meet up today?” 

The line went quiet for a few seconds before she replied, “Of course, Takuto. You sound a bit shaken up. Did something happen?” There wasn’t any kind of annoyance in her voice, only patience. Perhaps she often had nightmares herself.

He swallowed thickly, trying to lubricate his dry throat. “I had a nightmare.”

She hummed in understanding, “We can talk about it when we meet up then. Can you fall back asleep?” She asked softly. 

“Yeah, I think so.” He could after hearing her voice, he knew she was safe now. 

“Sweet dreams, Takuto. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Enya...thank you” he sleepily replied before falling asleep, clutching the phone to his chest long after the line had gone dead.

~~~

Maruki was already seated at a booth in the diner when Enya had arrived. He seemed listless as his leg bounced up and down underneath the table, his hands intertwined as they rested against his stomach. His face lit up once he noticed her arrival and he lifted a hand in greeting. She grinned in response and sat across from him, ordering a drink before giving him her undivided attention. Silence stretched out between the two. The diner was vacant this early on a Wednesday morning. The air conditioner hummed loudly above them as the clattering of plates could be heard from the kitchen. Enya noticed that Maruki looked weary. He kept stealing glances at her, not being able to hold proper eye contact. Unlike Maruki, Enya had a healthy glow to her. He wondered if she had started seeing the therapist he had recommended.

"Was the nightmare about me? You keep looking for traces of something on my face." She voiced her thoughts with curiosity, breaking the silence that had started to become unsettling. 

"If..," he started off, trying to find the right words as his voice took on a somber tone, "if you had the opportunity to erase your painful memories, would you?" He knew it was silly to ask, he already knew her answer, but he needed the confirmation. The dream from earlier still plagued his mind.

She watched him carefully before answering, "I've thought about it before. ‘What would life have been like if…’ but going down that rabbit hole does me no good. What happened to me, happened. And even if I had a choice to do so, I wouldn't. I'd no longer be the person you see before you. All the hardships I've been through have made me who I am. This pain is proof that despite everything I'm alive.” She stared at her hand before forming a fist, “I don't want anyone else controlling me. The future is mine to decide. I’m not a victim, Takuto, I'm a survivor." She mulled over her next words before gently repeating back his question. "Would you? I'd like to hear your thoughts."

Maruki nodded in understanding. He knew Enya would be another person who would have fought his reality. She was extremely strong willed and if the metaverse had still been around, he was sure she would have awakened to her persona. Pain was necessary to drive people forward, build relationships, and shape people. What meaning would happiness have if there wasn’t anything to compare it to? People would become stagnant, complacent, never striving to better themselves. Certain things weren’t given to you, they were earned. Maruki knew that now. "There was a time where I was inclined to answer yes. A world where pain no longer existed, where people can live the lives they’ve always wished for.” His eyes had taken that faraway look again. “Someone with a much stronger will than mine brought me to my senses. While my ideal world would benefit a great deal of people, it wouldn’t be fair to those who used their willpower to overcome their hardships. I'd be stealing their efforts and denying their pain and suffering therefore not seeing them for the person they are underneath that. I’d be taking away the very future they so desperately fought for by telling them I know far better than them.” 

Maruki’s eyes regained focus as he let out a self-deprecating laugh. “In the end, I was merely running away from my own painful experience. I lost sight of what mattered and tried to push my desires onto others.”

He finally mustered up the courage to look at Enya. Her eyebrows were upturned in apprehension as she digested his words. Enya could see the appeal of such a world and knew that her younger self would have gladly accepted the opportunity to live in it. She was just a kid back then, lost and afraid, with no one to turn to. She herself didn’t know what had changed within her, but she had been able to snap out of the sorrow that had consumed her. She considered herself lucky in that regard. Not everyone had the will to do so. Despite this, Enya knew that such an idealized world wasn’t right. It wasn’t as if she loved pain -she despised it and took any opportunity to avoid it- but pain was necessary to an extent. How could someone know success if they had never failed? How would someone know the satisfaction of hard work if everything was handed to them? How could someone know to cherish moments of happiness if they’d never experienced sadness? In order for happiness to exist there needed to be misery. They were two sides of the same coin.

After a moment of silence, Maruki looked away in shame. His negative thoughts were interrupted by a warm hand resting on top of his. His eyes widened in shock as he noticed Enya’s tender expression. It was as she could see inside him and  _ knew _ . She didn't laugh at his words or scoff in disgust. And in that moment Maruki understood, she saw him too. 

“You know better now, Takuto. You can't change the past. All you can do is learn from your mistakes and grow from them. Just as there are things you can't control, there are things you can. Once you understand that, you can focus your attention on them.”

Maruki was in awe once again. Enya was -just as her name implied- a fire that burned vividly. She was wise beyond her years. He felt a bit disconcerted, he was supposed to be the counselor yet was the one receiving advice. He was but a moth to a flame though and he seeked the warmth she gave off. “Thank you.” Was all he could manage to say.

Enya smiled, giving his hand another pat for good measure before standing up, “Why don’t we keep this conversation going on a walk. The waitress keeps giving us the stink eye for only ordering juice.” 

“O-oh! Yes, let’s do that!” he flusteredly replied, almost tripping over himself as he followed after her. “Shall we, then?”

Enya tried to hide her laugh by covering her mouth but Maruki could see her shaking shoulders all the way to the register. He pouted in resignation, cheeks ablaze.

~~~

Enya and Maruki find themselves at Inokashira-Koen park. They were seated on a bench directly in front of the pond. The water rippled underneath the ducks that dunked their head in search of food as others groomed themselves. Wind rustled the cherry blossom trees, causing petals to fall into the pond. Quacks could be heard every so often when one of the ducks caught something. Above them, the sunlight streamed through the cherry blossom branches. Enya closed her eyes in delight, absorbing the moment. After a while, she glanced over at Takuto to find him deep in thought, that faraway look back in his eyes. For how long would he continue to live in the past? She let out a sigh before an idea came to mind.

" _ Mr. Blue Sky, please tell us why you had to hide away for so long. Where did we go wrong? _ " She sang, an amused smile painting her lips. Maruki aroused from his stupor and blinked. He didn't recognize the song nor at what she was getting at. Was he supposed to be Mr. Blue Sky? "Takuto, it's a beautiful new day. You haven't smiled once the whole time we've been together." She regarded the pond before continuing, "Stop beating yourself up over it, it's okay to enjoy yourself. You owe it to your past self to grab moments of happiness as they come. It’s not selfish, you know." Enya feigned hurt. “Plus, I know I’m much better company than this.”

Enya could see the moment he tried to backpedal, eyes widening comically. He was too easy to tease. She wondered how long it would take for him to notice she was joking but decided to let him off the hook. She elbowed him playfully and Maruki blinked before letting out a hearty laugh that caused her insides to warm. “You’re right. You always seem to know what to say. Thank you, Enya.”

Enya grinned, about to make a self deprecating joke about how her wisdom came to be due to her trauma but stopped upon seeing Maruki’s kind expression directed straight at her.  _ Badump. Badump.  _ She clutched the spot right above her heart, a blush forming on her face. She had missed him the weeks they’d been apart. Work had picked up and she’d been swamped with documents that needed translating, apart from that, she had started her therapy sessions. She supposed she was a bad friend in that regard, not contacting him at all but she had always been a bad texter. She couldn’t explain why but Maruki’s presence was comforting, it anchored her. Enya played with her fingers bashfully, “Hey, Takuto? Could we stay like this just a bit longer?” 

Maruki beamed, not being able to conceal his mirth as he wanted to be with her for much longer as well. They had to catch up after all. “I’d like that.”

They chatted late into lunch, joy evident on both their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to see a drawing of Enya and Maruki go check out the drawing on my tumblr:  
> [ Juice Box Friends ](https://zoaxert.tumblr.com/post/626547221332131840)  
> I commissioned the amazing @snapperoni on Twitter! Make sure to check out their art!


	5. Dancing in Starlight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song referenced is [ Fairy of Shampoo by TXT ](https://youtu.be/bb-WPyyCQ5Q)  
> 

Enya had once again found herself inside the comfort of Leblanc. Work had been piling up and her most recent deadlines had left her drained. Japan expected the best from their workers and this meant dedicating yourself to your job. Her current job was merely a means to an end though. She had to pay rent and necessities after all. If someone were to ask her what her dream was, she wouldn’t know how to answer. It was a daunting thing, the prospect of not having a dream. In a society that expects you to plan your entire future by the third year of high school, not having a dream or an end outcome was seen as lazy and apathetic. Enya could still remember her counselor's frazzled expression when she had told her she didn’t know what she wanted to do in the future. The middle aged woman wouldn’t take that answer and asked her what topics she was interested in. Enya had answered that she liked philosophy and so she graduated university with a bachelors in the field. At the end of the day, it was merely a diploma. What could she do with it? If she wanted to teach the topic, she had to complete a masters. She followed her interests like her counselor had recommended and society told her no place would hire her. What a joke. That’s how she ended up working as a bartender at a high end bar. The bar could afford security guards so she never had to deal with rowdy customers. The pay was decent and if it was a good night, she’d end up with three hundred dollars in cash. All she had to do was listen to her customers woes and offer advice. She was able to afford her move to Japan because of that job. She really did enjoy helping others, it gave her a sense of accomplishment; she felt needed and normal. But Enya had decided it was time she started to put herself foremost and the first step to that was to get away from it all. 

Enya took a deep breath, inhaling the rich coffee aroma and smiled in content. Yes, she had to believe she had made the right choice. Glancing over to the island, she noticed that the chestnut-haired male seated there was looking up the stairs with a forlorn expression, his cup of coffee abandoned long ago. She wondered if he was thinking of times gone by. Her train of thought was interrupted by her phone ringing.

_Incoming Call: Mom_

Enya watched her phone with a blank expression, letting it ring and go to voicemail. Now that she was away from her parents, she didn’t feel guilt tripped into owing them. Sure, she was grateful her parents worked hard in order to provide her with the best they could but that was their duty as parents. The emotional trauma they inflicted on her left her weary and resentment burned deep within her. They could have stopped the years of sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of him but they ignored the warning signs. 

Once the ringing stopped, she looked up to find the male was gone, his cup of coffee the only evidence that he hadn’t been a figment of her imagination. Enya noticed Boss was watching her and she offered him a sheepish smile, standing up to make a speedy exit. “Sorry, I’ll be leaving now. Thank you for the meal!” 

~~~

Enya plopped onto her bed, looking at the latest message Maruki had sent. 

_Takuto, 7:32: Just got out of work :)_

She grinned, his attempt to tell her he wanted to hang out was cute. They had started to make an attempt to text each other more often but Maruki preferred to call. Enya would send any memes she thought were funny to him but they were either a hit or miss. She was still trying to figure out what his humor was but she was pretty sure Maruki was the type that laughed at Piano Cat. 

_Enya, 7:33: Want to go watch a movie at the Shibuya theatre? There’s a movie I’ve been wanting to see._

_Maruki, 7:34: That sounds good. I’ll meet you at the entrance?_

_Enya, 7:34: See you there! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ_

She jumped off the bed to fix her makeup, giving herself a once over before grabbing her bag and heading out. She wondered how the evening would play out. There never seemed to be a dull moment with Maruki. She also didn’t miss the butterflies fluttering inside her stomach, elation building up at seeing the male she had grown so close to. 

~~~

“Enya!” Maruki called out, waving her over as soon as he spotted her in the roaring crowd. Central street of Shibuya was as lively as ever. Enya could barely hear him but had no trouble locating him due to his lanky stature. His hands were stuffed into the pockets of his jacket and he wore a friendly smile. He was a familiar sight to see in the sea of strangers.

“Hey! I hope you didn’t wait long!” She smiled. Maruki noticed the neon lights of the signs reflected off the glossy shine of her lips. Had she always worn lip gloss?

“Don’t worry, I had to go home to shower and change. What movie did you want to see?” He asked, walking alongside her into the theatre. Enya always had to look up at him when they walked side by side. It was much more quiet inside. The smell of buttery popcorn filling their senses as the bass of an action movie hitting its climax could be felt through tremors. Maruki couldn’t remember the last time he had gone to see a movie. He supposed it was during his college years, meaning it had been a while. 

“It’s the new blockbuster that came out a few days ago! You know, the one they keep showing at the Shibuya crossing screens. _Dancing in Starlight_!” She eagerly pointed at the movie poster, aweing at how badass it looked. “A group of friends must dance in order to defeat the evil that has landed in their city. Can they prevail in the hardships that follow suit? It has everything, Takuto! Friendship, romance, action!” 

Maruki laughed at her impression of the narrator. Her enthusiasm was contagious and he found himself going along with it. “I’ll trust you. Is there any food or drinks you want to buy?”

“We absolutely have to get Icee’s! The blue flavor preferably!” She replied, picking their seats at the very back. 

“I don’t think I’ve had the drink.” He answered back, grabbing the ticket stub that the machine had printed. 

Enya gaped at him in shock. “You have to try it! Though, I feel like you’ll enjoy the cherry flavor more. C’mon, it’ll be an experience!” She tried to convince him as she dragged him over to the food counter to order their drinks. Maruki eyed the Icee warily. It was a neon red and he was sure it would stain his insides. He looked up to see Enya looking at him expectantly with her wide doe eyes and he steeled himself before taking a sip. “Well?” she asked.

Maruki blinked, tasting the cold beverage before smiling. “It’s surprisingly good. It has a peculiar texture but I can see how it can become addicting. How much sugar does this have?”

Enya threw back her head in a chuckle, walking toward the stairs that led to the screening. “You don’t want to know.”

His eyebrows scrunched up in concern as he followed after her. He supposed he could indulge for the night.

"Takuto, your tongue is bright red." She giggled as he joined in her laughter once he saw her smurf colored tongue.

"And yours is blue."

Enya stuck out her tongue before taking out her phone. "Let's take a picture to commemorate the night." She paused in the middle of the hallway, striking a peace sign. Maruki blinked before copying her pose with uncertainty, looking into the camera. He craned his head to see her phone as he noticed her shaking shoulders, a telltale sign that she was trying not to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" He asked before seeing the dopey smile he had in the picture. "W-what?!"

She noticed his pout and patted his shoulder, "I think you look cute, Takuto."

"What?!" He repeated in a higher pitch, cheeks ablaze which caused her to chortle once more.

"C'mon, the movie is about to start!"

They found their seats inside and sat down just as the lights dimmed. The movie was as dramatic as Enya had made it to be. Maruki found himself glancing over to gauge her reactions. She was outwardly expressive with her emotions. She would laugh at the jokes and gasp at the plot twists. He even saw her wipe tears at the friend's turmoil. By the end of the movie she had a content expression. Oddly enough, the movie reminded him of Kurusu and his group of friends. The characters were just as determined as they were and had danced their hearts out to defeat the evil that threatened the world as they knew it.

“It was a good movie.” Enya finally piped up, though there was a hint of wistfulness in her voice that Maruki picked up on.

“Something on your mind?” He asked.

“Well, remember the scene where Akiko was dancing with Itsuki. I’ve always wanted to dance like that.” She answered, cheeks reddening in embarrassment at how silly it sounded aloud. It was merely wishful thinking.

“Why don’t we then?” He suggested without really thinking it through.

“Really?” She replied in awe, standing up from her seat and extending her hand out to him.

“I-I don’t really know how to dance.” Maruki flusteredly replied as his words finally dawned on him. He looked up into her twinkling eyes and couldn’t help but take her hand. How could he say no after suggesting it.

“I don’t know either. It’ll be a first for the both of us.” Enya reassured him, helping him up. He awkwardly stood there, not knowing what to do until she grabbed his other hand. Maruki smelled like pine cones with a hint of cigarettes. It made her wonder if he smoked every now and then. His hands were warm and slightly sweaty from nerves. “Relax, Takuto.” She laughed, swaying along to the song that was playing at the ending credits. Maruki followed her lead a bit unsurely, watching their feet so he wouldn’t trip over himself.

“Whenever I see her, I'm not lonely 

_Even if I’m with my sad heart_

_It just disappears far away_

_She's my fairy of shampoo_

_From this moment on, I will love her.”_

Enya softly sang along, smiling when Maruki finally made eye contact. Her honey, topaz eyes were inviting, scrunched up in delight. From this distance he could smell her citrusy scent. Pleasant warmth radiated off her, enticing him to draw closer. She usually looked youthful but the dim lights of the theatre gave her a bewitching appearance. He let out a little gasp when his heart skipped a beat. Enya tried to gauge his expression but the screen gleamed off his glasses. 

“Takuto?” She asked before letting out a gleeful squeal as he spun her around, their bodies finally moving in sync to the jazzy and nostalgic tempo. Where had this level of confidence surged from? The overhead projector highlighted the particles of dust that almost looked like bubbles in the moment, casting a dreaminess to the scene. It was just the two of them in the moment, inhibitions cast aside. Did Akiko feel as elated as she did? Was her heart also skipping beats as she catched Itsuki’s intense gaze? Maruki made her feel like the female lead in the film and she didn’t want it to end. 

“Hello? Is there anyone still here?” The moment was shattered by the theatre attendant calling out. Maruki and Enya stared at one another like deer caught in headlights before she pulled him along by the hand, running towards the exit. They ran past the confused girl as they guffawed at their rash behavior; their voices echoing off the theater walls.

“Why are we running?” Takuto managed to get out, slightly out of breath. His sides hurt from all the laughter, it made him feel like a teenager again.

Enya turned to give him a playful grin, hair fluttering into her face. “That moment is a secret between you and I.”

Maruki stared in astonishment, her words causing something to blossom in his chest. He wasn’t sure what it was but he knew he wanted to keep that moment between the two of them too. Enya was in a sense his fairy of shampoo. He wanted to keep experiencing life at her side. She made him feel things he didn’t think he could feel again. He tightened the hold she had on his hand and ran by her side, sporting a smile of his own. He wondered what else was in store for them and whether Enya felt the same way he did. He hoped she did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late chapter but I struggled to write this. Not as happy with the outcome but alas. I also start my fall semester today so there might be further delays in updates but the goal is still Saturday! Thank you for reading^^


	6. Discerning Feelings

It was past midnight and the pouring rain continued to hail outside, pounding on the rooftop of the house. The last train of the day had long departed, leaving Maruki stranded in Yogen-Jaya. He and Enya had gone to play at the batting center after their escapade at the movie theatre. He was unsure about it at first but after Enya’s cheering he had eased into it. It felt good to let out some of the pent up tension he had accumulated. Between their laughter and silliness, they had lost track of time and Maruki had missed the last train of the day. They'd gotten caught in the rain walking back to Enya’s home but luckily, she'd been carrying an umbrella with her. Although it was a tight fit, they made it to her home mostly dry.

Maruki walked around Enya’s living room while she showered. This was his first time in her home and he was a bit nervous. He wasn’t quite sure why he felt like this since they were friends. He supposed it was always awkward visiting someone’s home the first time around. You're not too sure how to behave. Looking around, he saw that Enya had accumulated quite an array of plants in her home. He could tell how much she cared for them as they were a healthy, vibrant green. She also had a collection of albums, books, and figurines. He wondered if she had shipped all of these items from the states since she had only arrived with one suitcase when they had met. He figured they must be very meaningful to her. Maruki noted that she didn’t have any portraits of her family and friends. She had mentioned wanting to start anew so he pondered about their relationship; could it be estranged?

The door to the bathroom opened and Maruki jumped, looking toward the hallway as if he had been caught doing something wrong. He wasn’t sure if Enya was alright with him looking around. Enya emerged from the hallway wearing a blue, striped pajama set with that mischievous cookie he had seen on her bag. Her hair was still wet and it clung to the sides of her face while a healthy glow colored her cheeks. His own face warmed at the sight of her, he couldn’t stop thinking about how adorable she looked. Was it okay to think of your friend that way? _Of course it is_ , he thought, _why wouldn’t it be?_ He cleared his throat and Enya smiled shyly. She had decided to wear the cutest pajamas she owned. This was the first time she ever had a male friend come over and she was giddy yet keenly aware of his presence.

“Make yourself at home, Takuto. Have a seat.” She replied before sitting on the sofa. Maruki eyed the empty spot before sitting down, leaving enough space between them. Enya slightly frowned at how uncomfortable he looked before turning on the TV to fill the quiet awkwardness in the room. She wasn’t sure what had changed -they'd been having such a great time earlier- but she wanted him to feel at ease around her.

_“Oh! Yes! Yes! Let’s go! Featherman!”_

Enya’s eyes widened and she scrambled to change the channel, embarrassment painted across her features. Maruki smiled as he watched the familiar cartoon. The opening song made him reminisce about childhood days when he’d eagerly await a new episode. “Do you like watching Phoenix Ranger Featherman?”

“Oh! Well you know! I used to watch the English version growing up and I see it play every now and then in Leblanc so it made me nostalgic!” She said with a nervous laugh, playing with the butterfly necklace Maruki had gifted her. Enya didn’t want to come off as childish to her older friend. She was used to hiding her interests from friends and family for fear of being ridiculed. It wasn’t as if Maruki hadn’t already seen her packed bookshelf though.

Maruki detected her reluctance and turned to her with a warm smile. He didn’t want her to feel as though she had to hide her interests from him. “I used to watch it too! Who was your favorite ranger?”

Enya perked up and glanced over to him, a smile peeking through. “Feather Swan! I loved how smart and independent she was! What about you?”

Maruki chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “Feather Hawk. Every boy wanted to be him and I was no exception. He was the dependable leader after all.”

Enya grinned, “Well, I’d say you grew up to be pretty dependable yourself, Takuto.”

He let out another shy chuckle, “Thank you. Why don’t we watch a few episodes before going to bed?”

“Sure. Let me go get some snacks!”

After bringing some beverages and an array of snacks to munch on, Enya sat down, albeit closer than before, to watch the show with Maruki. She found her attention drifting to Maruki more than anything though. He had some of the longest lashes she’d ever seen. His nose was long and slim while his jaw was well defined, to the point that it was almost model like. His messy curls gave him a boyish appearance but his sideburns and beard scruff said otherwise. He was cute yet handsome and it made her heart skip a beat. She had learned that his eyes and hair were dark brown and it gave him that puppy dog look she was a sucker for. Maruki glanced over to her and they made eye contact. She hid her burning cheeks behind the pillow she had been holding against her chest as he gave her that lopsided smile she liked so much. Did he even realize what he did to her?

“Hey Takuto?” She asked meekly, a bit anxious to find out the answer to her next question. She wanted to know the answer though so she steeled her resolve.

“Yes?” He asked, munching on one of the dessert breads, oblivious to her previous demeanor. Surprisingly, he had really gotten into the show.

“Have you ever been in love?”

Maruki froze, her question throwing him off. Where had that come from? Enya always seemed to have profound inquiries. He didn’t want to lie to her but talking about Rumi was still hard for him. He wanted to move on, he couldn’t keep living in the past, but getting over your first love is easier said than done. He decided that talking about it to someone with no prior knowledge about his situation would help. Enya was very empathetic after all.

“Yes, her name was Rumi and I loved her.” He swallowed thickly before continuing. “I was planning to propose to her before the accident happened. Her parents were murdered and as a witness to it she had gone into shock.” He looked down at his hands as tears pricked his eyes. “She forgot about me and I thought it was best to leave things as they were.” It wasn’t the complete truth as he was the one that caused Rumi to forget but he hadn’t wanted things to end like that. She wasn’t supposed to forget him. She was supposed to be by his side. Reality was cruel though and in neither his world or this one would would there be a place where he and Rumi had a happy ending.

Enya watched as he struggled to contain his emotions, her own heart feeling heavy. "You gave up on her so she could be happy elsewhere, even if it wasn't with you. I can tell how much you loved her.”

“Yeah” he said with a weak laugh, eyebrows scrunched up in sorrow. What else could he have done? Despite how much it hurt him, despite how empty she had left him feeling, he’d still do it again. He took her suffering and turned it into his own.

“Can I hug you, Takuto?” Enya asked, a look he couldn’t quite decipher etched on her face.

“Huh?” He asked in mild confusion and surprise. Was she trying to make him feel better? “Okay" He answered unsurely before she came forward with a consoling smile. Enya was trying to assuage his pain but she also needed this hug as much as he did. She wanted to be in his embrace. No, she needed to be held by him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, burrowing her face into his shoulder. The familiar scent of pine cones and traces of cigarette filling her senses once more. Maruki stiffened from the contact at first but he soon sank into her warmth. Her wet hair tickled his cheeks as the scent of citrus overwhelmed his senses. He returned the hug a bit too tightly but she was alright with it. Enya had such a comforting embrace that Maruki could feel the tears prickling his eyes once more and before he knew it, he was silently crying into her hair. Enya rubbed his back in soothing circles, trying not to cry as well. It was for a different reason though as she had finally realized why her chest felt like it was being crushed. She was starting to develop feelings for Maruki and she wasn’t sure he was ready to receive them. He wasn’t over Rumi and she didn’t know if he would ever be. Could she even compare to his first love? Would he even be able to reciprocate her feelings? She felt she should just be content with their current relationship. Enya didn’t want to risk their friendship so she decided, in that moment, to lock her feelings away, hoping they’d eventually leave from his lack of interest. Feelings weren’t so frivolous though, she knew that, but she could only hope she could bear it.

After pulling away, they both sat closer to each other, seeking solace in one anothers warmth and presence. Featherman continued to play in the background as the now softer, pit-a-patter of the rain lulled them to sleep. The glow of the TV illuminated their sleeping frames as Enya’s head rested on Maruki's shoulder and he leaned into her. Unbeknownst to Enya, she had already helped him set foot on the path to closure. It would only be a matter of time now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep being unhappy with the newest chapters ;--; I've been swamped with school assignments since I have to basically teach myself and I hate it. For this reason updates will be posted whenever they're available. Thank you for understanding!


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